The Search
The Search is NF's first single in 2019. This song is about his battle to find hope along with the demons that are holding him down. Audio Lyrics “Hey, Nate, how's life?” I don't know, it's alright I've been dealin' with some things like every human being And really didn't sleep much last night (Last night) “I'm sorry,” that's fine I just think I need a little me time I just think I need a little free time Little break from the shows and the bus rides (Bus rides), yeah Last year I had a breakdown Thoughts tellin' me I'm lost gettin' too loud Had to see a therapist, then I found out Somethin' funny's goin' on up in my house Yeah, started thinkin' maybe I should move out You know, pack my cart, take a new route Clean up my yard, get the noose out Hang up my heart, let it air out (Air out) I've been searchin' “What does that mean, Nate?” I've been learning Grabbin' my keepsakes, leavin' my burdens Well, I brought a few with me, I'm not perfect Lookin' at the view like, this concerns me Pickin' up the cues, right? I'm quite nervous Hate it when I lose sight, life gets blurry And things might hurt me It's prolly gonna be a long journey, but hey (But hey) It's worth it, though Cold world out there, kids, grab your coats Been a minute, I know, now I'm back to roam Lookin' for the antidote to crack the code Pretty vivid; I admit it, I'm in classic mode Don't need pity given to me, but I can't condone Talkin' down to me, I'ma have to crack your nose for crackin' jokes I'm lookin' for the map to hope, you seen it? (You seen it?) Been makin' a whole lot of changes Wrote a song about that, you should play it I get scared when I walk on these stages I look at the crowd and see so many faces, yeah That's when I start to get anxious That's when my thoughts can be dangerous That's when I put on my makeup and drown in self-hatred Forget what I'm saying, and— Where'd the beat go? Oh, ain't that somethin'? Drums came in, you ain't see that comin' Hands on my head, can't tell me nothin' Got a taste of the fame, had to pump my stomach Throw it back up like I don't want it Wipe my face, clean off my vomit OCD, tryna push my buttons I said don't touch it, now y'all done it I can be critical, never typical Intricate with every syllable, I'm a criminal Intimate, but never political, pretty visual Even if you hate it, I'll make it feel like you're in it, though You call me what you wanna, but never call me forgettable Leave you deep in thought, I could never swim in the kiddie pool Way that I been thinkin' is cinematic, it's beautiful Man, I don't know if I'm makin' movies or music videos (Videos, videos, videos) Yeah, the sales can rise Doesn't mean much though when your health declines See, we've all got somethin' that we trapped inside That we try to suffocate, you know, hopin' it dies Try to hold it underwater but it always survives Then it comes up out of nowhere like an evil surprise Then it hovers over you to tell you millions of lies You don't relate to that? Must not be as crazy as I am The point I'm makin' is the mind is a powerful place And what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way It's pretty cool, right? Yeah, but it's not always safe Just hang with me, this'll only take a moment, okay? Just think about it for a second, if you look at your face Every day when you get up and think you'll never be great You'll never be great—not because you're not, but the hate Will always find a way to cut you up and murder your faith (Woo) I am developin', take a look at the benefits Nothin' to meddle with, I can never be delicate Am I even relevant? That depends how you measure it Take a measurement, then bag it up and give me the evidence It's pretty evident; dependable can never be tentative I'm a gentleman, depending on if I think you're genuine Pretty elegant, but not afraid to tell you to get a grip Proper etiquette, I keep it to myself when I celebrate, ah (Ah) It's that time again Better grab your balloons and invite your friends Seatbelts back on, yeah, strap 'em in Look at me, everybody, I'm smilin' big On a road right now that I can't predict Tell me "Tone that down," but I can't resist Y'all know that sound, better raise your fist The search begins, I'm back, so enjoy the trip, huh